Bummed Out.

I am SO disappointed in myself. I haven't had a cigarette in just over 2 weeks until 10 minutes ago and I am so upset at myself over it. I gave it up cold turkey 2 weeks ago after it made me violently ill one night, and while the cravings have been bad, I have been SO good at not being tempted, but the past 2 days the cravings have been stronger then ever and I honestly felt like I had zero control over myself, so I had one. Ewwww, is all I can say. I feel SO sick and sad now. Back to step one I go! But this time I am going to get some help. Off to the pharmacy for something to help me. Wish me luck!

Wow, Just Wow.

So I know that I've already done 2 posts today BUT I've just been over to Danielle's blog, Sometimes Sweet, and she has the most beautiful video ever that I just had to share here as well.
As a parent myself I know just how hard it is to raise a child and try to be the most perfect parent that you can be. I am very very lucky to have my partner, Clinton, in mine and my son's life. I was going to be a single parent until he came into my life exactly a week before my son was born, he really is an amazing person to take on such an amazing responsibility when he didn't have to.
Anyway, I just want to say that I have amazing respect for all single parents, especially single-dads as they are often over-looked. My father raised me and my brother until he passed away in 2001, and I couldn't of asked for a better life.

Taking It Day By Day

Starting to feel a little bit better over what my little family went through last week. Losing a baby is the hardest thing that any mother will ever go through. It feels like I'm empty, like something is now missing, that can never be replaced. But I will get through this. I am a strong person. I have all the support I could ever ask for and I am so so grateful for everyone in my life.

Feeling Meh.

Blah. I feel like crap. I officially hate today and will for the rest of my life. Such a sad, sad day.

The Day Before THE Day

So tomorrow I'm going in for my first ever operation and let me tell you I am absolutely crapping my pants about it all. It's nothing major just routine surgery but just the thought of being put under anaesthetic is really scaring me. What if I don't go to sleep? What if I feel everything thats happening? Argh! I am so stressed and anxious about it!

Anyway, today I am just trying to eat well (I have to fast from 10pm tonight!) and rest as much as possible while Benjamin is at Child Care, now if only I could turn my mind/thoughts off things would be much much easier.